What I Learned Along the Way
21 years in Switzerland
Petra Peyer · 2 min read
People here need time. Nature lets you in right away.
21 years in Switzerland. Just made it.
And somehow I still don't feel at home here. Not in a way that feels truly mine.
My real Swiss friends? I can count them on one hand.
But I'm opening up to it.
I keep meeting new people and making new friends.
And I love the nature here - and the freedom of the mountains.
So why is friendship so hard here?
I often hear that the Swiss are cold and unapproachable.
Reserved - that fits better.
And it has roots deep in history.
Mountains and valleys.
For centuries people lived in small, closed communities where everyone knew everyone. A stranger really was a stranger. And trust took years to build.
Zwingli and Calvin.
Restraint, modesty, work. Feelings are not shown.
Four languages in one country.
It holds together because people stay out of each other's lives. Leaving someone in peace is a sign of respect here.
Discretion.
Don't ask. Don't pry. Here, that's good manners.
And then the practical side:
Friendships are made at school, in the army, in the local club - and they last a lifetime. By adulthood, people are "full".
A coffee gets planned three weeks ahead.
And the dialect quietly shows who belongs. And who doesn't.
They call it a coconut culture.
A hard shell - and soft inside.
We Czechs are more like peaches.
Soft on the outside, quick to be friends.
So for 21 years I've been living as a peach among coconuts.
Once a Swiss person lets you in, it's usually for life.
It's just a long way in.
And then there's the other side of Switzerland.
Mountains that take your breath away.
Lakes so clear you can see the bottom.
Forests, waterfalls, silence.
You walk up for a few hours, you're above the clouds - and everything down below is suddenly small.
People here need time.
Nature lets you in right away.
Maybe that's why I have two homes.
How is it for you?
If you live abroad - do you feel at home there?
And how many real local friends do you have?
~ Petra